What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
