he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
