They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
