You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
