I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
