I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
