think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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