great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
