There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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