He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
