I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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