I have demons in me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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