Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
