He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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