i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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