Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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