So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
