He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
