I wanna bring you to show and tell
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
