I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
