if you like me you must not know who I am
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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