But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
