Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
