If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
