I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
