it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
