I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize