Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
