he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
