She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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