The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
