is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
