I like to think it a success when the cops are called
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
