Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
