watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
now i know why i became what i already was.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
