he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
