Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
