i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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