you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
