Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
