Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
