That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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