Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
