so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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