I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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