obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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