wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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