If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Randomize
