I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
