Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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