a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
