Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
