I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize