we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
