I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
