Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
