I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
