Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
