It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
